10 Tested Ways To Get Rid Of Your Irritating Girlfriend

For an irritating girlfriend-free life follow these time-tested formula and you’ll be surprised to see how easy and relatively straightforward dumping an irritating ‘attachment’ can actually be!

1:) Make her wait for ages… when the dates are planned by her and, even worse when they are planned by you.

2:) Do not ever use a deodorant when you’re around her. Make it a point to munch on onions before you meet her.

3:) Attend as many calls as you can when she’s spending time with you… it helps if the one calling is you’re ex-girlfriend and it’s even better if it’s your ’supposedly’ intimate boyfriend.

4:) Be as GAY as you can!

5:) Make sure you invite her best friend every time you go out with her, and hit on her friend (doesn’t matter if it’s a guy or a girl) as shamelessly as you can. The drool-pot is a sure winner!

6:) Dress as horrendously as you possible can. Colour combinations are a strict NO-NO, unless you’re planning on doing a fluorescent orange and bright pink combo. Classic!

7:) Gorge yourself on food, hers, yours, her friend’s and make sure food spills out of your mouth every minute or so, during your lunch or dinner dates.

8:) BURP! As often and as loudly as you can. Gaseous emanations of other kinds are also sure ways to your ultimate triumph!

9:) Make sure she realises you’re not busy, but pretend to be as busy as you can possibly be when she’s around… she’ll get the hint… or even better, pair it up with being a schedule freak.

10:) Pretend you have a serious crotch infection, or a fetish or an obsession for everything down under!

BEST OF LUCK!!!

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20 Comments so far

  1. RastaVari on August 20th, 2007
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    Hillarious !

    will try it out A.S.A.P & let you know how I get on

  2. david on August 20th, 2007
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    Uhh some of those are good but some may make her cling to you even worse.

  3. bit-head on August 20th, 2007
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    I tried all these things and we ended getting married LOL!

  4. Mr O on August 21st, 2007
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    wow, this is funny. Unfortunately, me and my girl both do 9 out of the 10 things here everyday and yet we still love each other. Odd.

  5. Revenant1963 on August 22nd, 2007
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    Can not enjoy this sense of humor.

    Perhaps I am too direct and honest to pretend to enjoy hurting another.

    No matter, I hope that others can enjoy it.

  6. risto on August 22nd, 2007
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    very nice tips….

  7. jane on August 22nd, 2007
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    ha! ohhh thats well harsh, yep that sure would get me off my boyfriend

  8. gzairborne on August 22nd, 2007
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    Very funny. I am so much more offensive than this…
    it is so good that I am married. I have tried all these and many more… still married. Thanks for the
    laughter.

  9. MyAvatars 0.2

    [...] "10 Tested Ways To Get Rid Of Your Irritating Girlfriend" For an irritating girlfriend-free life follow these time-tested formula and you’ll be surprised to see how easy and relatively straightforward dumping an irritating ‘attachment’ can actually be! [...]

  10. Douglas Woods on September 13th, 2007
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    Gee, can’t you just tell her it’s over and then not turn up for any dates or meets with her?

  11. a decent person on September 13th, 2007
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    Or you could behave like an adult and sit her down and tell her it’s not working out, rather than spend weeks doing everything in your power to make her feel despised and humiliated.

    You’re lucky to have gotten a woman in the first place, with such a mature outlook on love.

  12. klaw81 on September 22nd, 2007
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    Very funny got a good laugh

  13. Jon Lyles on September 24th, 2007
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    Good advice

  14. vadude on November 26th, 2007
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    very good advice, but u guys gotta understand that sometimes we make mistakes! it just ain’t working out

  15. faith29me@yahoo.co.uk on January 16th, 2008
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    its necesary for me right now because i need to get rid of the irritating girlfriend. but of cause i can’t change from being me to someone else

  16. Mark on March 18th, 2008
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    Drink evrything and anything until you puke on her.

  17. king on April 24th, 2008
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    I m already doing this for past 6 month with my girl friend. But she loves me more than before.

  18. Ashish Kalmegh on June 5th, 2009
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    hehe :D
    This is funny :D

    The onion thing is awesome

  19. rahul on August 27th, 2009
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    hahahahaha…! Very Funny…!
    My Ex-GirlFriend, doesn’t show any sign of breaking up indeed she has turned wild and crazy..! heheheh…!
    She now wants to humilate and destory me completely…heheheh..!
    This TIPS doesn’t work…!
    “BEST TIP: I suggest you people is to ignore, act as if you are DEAF ” Never go for her comments and words…You may end up being together…!
    BEST OF LUCH

  20. badboy on January 17th, 2010
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    y not just tell em straight i dnt wanna be with you i hate the sight ov ya now get out ov my life plain an simple but sayin that iv been sayin this for 3 months an she still aint moved out even wen i hit on her sister wats wrong wiv women these days lol

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