Summer Flings Are Great For:

Ego boosts. It’s summer, you’re wearing less layers and feeling sexier. More attractive. The attention of a summer fling can elevate that feeling to new heights. Inhibitions are dampened, holidays are taken and you meet tons of new people. You can even reinvent yourself for the time you’re on vacation. It’s liberating. We also go slower in the summer and relax more- which means open to possibilities.

Experimentation. The summer brings out the liberal in us. The entire attitude of ‘why not-?’ had to be coined in the summertime. It had to. Meeting Juan the waiter for a watermelon feast: why not? It’s not just about the physical possibilities, either- summer romances can be extremely intense emotional connections that are unforgettable.

Stress release. We have a reward system for surviving the winter months and slogging through work. It’s the summer leisure time, when we allow ourselves and our hair to unwind. Flirting, finding someone attractive and having the most minimal of touches throws work out of the window. Hard. The romance takes place of worrying about the next promotion or paying the bills. It just is.

Summer Romances Are Not:

Long-term relationships. Rarely do summer romances last until September, much less for the long-term. If you’re looking for true love, not a tryst, it’s probably not for you. Many summer flings are two strangers that live nowhere close to each other and connect. Maintaining a long-distance reality, after a mere week or two…doesn’t really work.

A solution to your relationship problems. When you’re in a relationship, it’s still cheating- even if it’s on holiday and they’ll never find out. It won’t repair your relationship or give you any answers. It could, in fact, play a role in finishing or destroying your relationship.

Meant to be repeated. A yearly meeting and trying to recreate the same atmosphere, with the same person, a year later, is kidding yourself. A lot can and does happen in a year- trying to make the connection you had leads only to disappointment and at worse, embarrassment for you both.

When you’re considering a summer fling, keep in mind that it’s basically a very short-term moment that will make you smile with long-term memories. Summer flings are something to keep you warm in the cold winter months.

The Ladies:

A bunny boiler: A woman who gets crazed, obsessive and is scary. From Fatal Attraction, the famous scene of the pot on the stove, boiling-?

To glomp: Similar to a bunny boiler, but less drastic- a little desperate. Usage is:  Is she glomping you? I think she was glomping me.

Guyatus: When a girl or woman takes time off of dating anyone, usually after a bad experience. She’s ‘suffering from guyatus.’

Guys:

A paternity fest: The celebration that a guy has when he finds out he isn’t the father of someone’s child.

A management ring: The promise or engagement ring a man gives his girl, to stop her from complaining (without any plans of getting married).

A manicorn: The sensitive, soulful man-friend who in reality is an imaginary creature (man + unicorn).

General Slang:

A non: The worst description you could give someone- a non is so unimportant it’s a non-issue. They don’t exist or aren’t attractive.

An umfriend: The friend (or more) that you introduce awkwardly. “This is Bob.  He’s my…um…friend?”

To be butter: Someone with a nice body but the face is less than attractive.

Arm candy: A date you are only out with as ‘decoration’ for your arm, attractive but not much else.

The slow fade/to pull a Houdini: When you want to stop dating someone, and instead of telling them you just… gradually… poof! Disappear.

To cupcake: Spending quality time with your partner, typically at home, instead of going out.

A starter marriage: The first marriage, usually very short and sweet, that paves the way to the ‘real marriage.’

A shackpack: The bag you take with you that has a toothbrush, some clean clothes, etc.- because you hope to stay the night with a romance.

Book: Cool. Stemming from T-9 mistakes from trying to write cool, it’s now unbook to use cool.

To bookmark someone: To make a mental note to get back to a person for a more in-depth conversation/meeting/date.

Jawn: A person, place or thing. “That jawn was hot, did you see her?” Mainly Philly area.

Sexting: Two meanings:

a:) to send sexy texts to a partner in a flirtatious way and

b:) sending actual naked photos via phone.

This lingo is not a full list, by any means- and the year is still far from over. At least you’re geared up for the dating world with 2009 lingo. Very, very book.

1. Cash Card/Bank Card

A cash card/bank card that’s actually got funds available.  Anything can happen, and cash is one of the best ways to get out of bad situations.  You might need an emergency taxi ride. Or your date might come up embarrassingly short.  Whether your date is going well or badly, anything can happen.  It literally pays to be prepared.

2. Mobile/Cell

There’s the chance you might need to get out of your date, for an ‘emergency,’ if you’re on a nightmare date.  Be tactful with it- put it on vibrate, don’t reply to texts from your friends during a conversation.

3. Lip-goo/Gloss/lipstick/chap stick

Your lips are one of your most sell-able assets you have on a date, and where men’s eyes linger.  There’s nothing worse than having it wear-off halfway, or get smudged across your chin- which will have him staring at you for all of the wrong reasons.

4. Mini-perfume

Perfume can fade.  You don’t want to smell like the dinner you’ve just both eaten, make a discreet visit to the Ladies and refresh.  Don’t bathe in it- some people have allergies.  It isn’t romantic watching your date sneeze every 5 seconds.

5. Eye-liner/eye-shadow

Make-up bleeds, runs, drips.  Raccoon eyes are sexy on the runway (depending on the fashion), but not on a date.  If you’ve got a pimple, bring your cover-stick to do touch-ups throughout the night.

6. Pony-tail holder/clip

If you’re out together for a long evening, it’s useful to be able to not only let your hair down but put it up.  This is especially true for those nights out dancing, or activity dates.

7. Light Sweater

For all seasons (winter being the exception), the weather can change instantly.  Having something along with you- just in case- helps not distract him from your beauty to your goosebumps or shirt-bumps.

8. Chewing Gum/mints

Eating, drinking coffee, drinking- all of these can leave a nasty residue in your mouth- you don’t want to taste like regurgitated food.  Don’t leave the gum for the last moment, using it continually through the night makes you more kissable.

9. Clean Undies

This is for more advanced dates, clearly.  But as our mothers always told us, you can never be too careful.  There’s the added plus of wearing comfortable undies for the date and swapping for sexy ones towards the end of the evening.

10. Condoms

Whatever your birth control preferences, condoms are a dating staple.  Having more than one handy (you really never do know where the night will take you) gives you the relief of not running around town looking for an open mini-mart.

It’s fun dating and (possibly) mating.  With these few essentials to carry with you on your date, you’ll be prepared for everything and anything.

Americans

Let me start out by taking a breather.  Seriously.  U.S. men smell so good.  It’s part of the hygiene protocol- they’re either clean-shaven or trimmed facially, they dress to impress- in other words, they actually think about presentation to the opposite sex.  They also flirt well, just enough but not too much to be creepy.  Usually.  The downside:  they tend to over-analyze and are cocky.

Australians

Australians are the coolest cats.  Maybe it has something to do with living in imminent danger of the 40,000 poisonous creatures in a stones’ throw, but they’re virtually un-ruffle-able.  They tend to be fit, have a dry sense of humor and are blunt.  Blunt in a relaxed, no worries, mate, kind of way.  They’re pretty open about libidos, which is refreshing.  The only negs are they can be too easy-going and not into a commitment.

Chileans

It’s probably unfair, as I’ve only dated one.  But he was:  hot, sexy, sensual and dressed up as a clown in his free time.  No, really.  A clown.  A female clown, at that.  He’s probably one of the sexiest men I’ve met- excepting queer hobbies- and had great qualities.  Confident, undemanding, yet sentimental and passionate.  And I’ll bet he was even sexy as a woman.

Czechs

Czech men are…not the most hygienic bachelors in the bunch.  There’s always a little jaw-scruff, a bit of a paunch.  They’re this strange dynamic of manly man meets child.  They’re quite shy, afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing and avoid conflict at all costs.  They spend most of their time with their friends in the pub, and many up-to-28-year-olds still live with mommy.

English

The English may have hot water bottles to keep them company in bed, but they also have a cracking wit and simmering sensuality hidden beneath the politesse.  Ignoring the hooligan phenomena, some English men have difficulty in expressing depth of feeling.  “I want to ravish you senseless!” becomes “Erm, it wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, you and I.”

French

Oooh la la.  Getting beyond the twitter-pations of that yummy accent, there’s the additional Gallic gallantry to enjoy.  No chair goes un-pulled, no door unopened, no smoldering glance left un-lingered.  Add to that a nice bottle of red and a 3-hour meal, it’s a short hop to infatuation.  The only negative is that French men have SASD after a romantic conquest, most times.

Romanians

Originally Roman (thus the name).  No, they aren’t all vampires.  They do have that Mediterranean atmosphere, though:  emotional zig-zag, passionate, dramatic and protective to a fault.  When they’re in love, boy are they.  The things to be aware of with Romanian men is that: they can have old-fashioned ideas about gender roles or are intolerant of any change.  Any.

That’s my (lucky?) 7.  Hopefully, it was helpful for you dating hopefuls out there.  At the very least, I hope it was mildly entertaining or enlightening.

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This page is under construction! SORRY for the inconvenience caused.

This page is under construction! SORRY for the inconvenience caused.