The Ladies:

A bunny boiler: A woman who gets crazed, obsessive and is scary. From Fatal Attraction, the famous scene of the pot on the stove, boiling-?

To glomp: Similar to a bunny boiler, but less drastic- a little desperate. Usage is:  Is she glomping you? I think she was glomping me.

Guyatus: When a girl or woman takes time off of dating anyone, usually after a bad experience. She’s ‘suffering from guyatus.’

Guys:

A paternity fest: The celebration that a guy has when he finds out he isn’t the father of someone’s child.

A management ring: The promise or engagement ring a man gives his girl, to stop her from complaining (without any plans of getting married).

A manicorn: The sensitive, soulful man-friend who in reality is an imaginary creature (man + unicorn).

General Slang:

A non: The worst description you could give someone- a non is so unimportant it’s a non-issue. They don’t exist or aren’t attractive.

An umfriend: The friend (or more) that you introduce awkwardly. “This is Bob.  He’s my…um…friend?”

To be butter: Someone with a nice body but the face is less than attractive.

Arm candy: A date you are only out with as ‘decoration’ for your arm, attractive but not much else.

The slow fade/to pull a Houdini: When you want to stop dating someone, and instead of telling them you just… gradually… poof! Disappear.

To cupcake: Spending quality time with your partner, typically at home, instead of going out.

A starter marriage: The first marriage, usually very short and sweet, that paves the way to the ‘real marriage.’

A shackpack: The bag you take with you that has a toothbrush, some clean clothes, etc.- because you hope to stay the night with a romance.

Book: Cool. Stemming from T-9 mistakes from trying to write cool, it’s now unbook to use cool.

To bookmark someone: To make a mental note to get back to a person for a more in-depth conversation/meeting/date.

Jawn: A person, place or thing. “That jawn was hot, did you see her?” Mainly Philly area.

Sexting: Two meanings:

a:) to send sexy texts to a partner in a flirtatious way and

b:) sending actual naked photos via phone.

This lingo is not a full list, by any means- and the year is still far from over. At least you’re geared up for the dating world with 2009 lingo. Very, very book.

Naysayers call it ‘blogging on amphetamines,’ but there are some benefits.  Staying in touch with and meeting people seems to rank highest on the list.  In other words, you’re never alone nor are you lonely.  While a lot of social sites are good for daily contact, Twitter is minute-by-minute.  For relationships, it’s a way to spend consistent time with your love when you’re apart.  With a new romance, it’s similar to speed dating, but sped up.  In business, those that Twitter have an edge on those who don’t.  Bloggers report an increase in visits, since the Twitter messages are so short,  leaving readers curious for more information.

There are many advocates for Twitter, but the drawbacks are plenty.  Yes, you might actually stay in touch with your family on a more regular basis, but you can also find yourself suffering from cravings or depression if no one contacts you.  Twitter addiction could destroy your relationship.  Look at Jen Aniston and Jon Mayer.  How romantic, going on a date with someone who’s describing their feelings to the world, instead of telling the person across from them.  That lack of personal connection increases the chances of a break-up.

How is this affecting communication?  Compiling all of your thoughts into 140 symbols, every time you think, is good for self-expression.  Sacrificing your realities, however, into sound-bytes isn’t.  As if we weren’t dumbed down enough by abbreviations and lack of real contact, we have less space and time.  There’s also the fact that social networking sites were already hotbeds for opening the cheating door.  Twitter doubles the speed, doubles the fun.  It allows for a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it transgression.  And don’t forget that the details can be publicized after, to entire communities of people.  Quadrupled humiliation in a fraction of a moment.

Twitter might be the little black dress of gadgetry at the moment, but it won’t be long before someone comes up with even shorter, faster communication.  Perhaps one day soon it’ll be the freshest, hottest trend to just send electronic grunts, reverting back to caveman speech.  Via technology.

It’s actually got a psychological term that’s been scientifically proven:  emotional contagion.  Think back through the years to all of those you’ve known that were needy, clingy, continuously vicious and enraged, the people that once you left them you felt absolutely drained.  You were in a good mood, and it can take less than minutes for a ‘negative’ personality to wipe that joy slate clean.  They might have even left you feeling downright surly.  Neuroscience says that deeply unhappy people infect others, because we are subconscious mirrors to those around us.  Spending a lot of time with certain people, we pick up their gestures, their phrases and eventually their behavior.  We’re unconscious mimics- or unconscious hosts.  Identify the types:

• Emotional Leeches: these are the people that are always in need, always come to you for advice, phone you up, and never solve their problems.  They feed off of your sympathy and kindness, coming back for more.  In extreme cases, they may even go the serial liar path just to have a constant influx of badness.  They can be friends, co-workers or family.  The only thing that matters:  they’re sucking the glee out of you, walking away feeling ‘so much better.’

• Psychic Vampires: a sub-let to leeches, they’re more specified and professional.  They have, dunno, special needs?  These are people who need to start arguments, or flirt outrageously, or those that kill everyone with kindness and then lap up the guilt.  They only feel satisfied if they get the ‘required’ response.  They walk away from the encounter with relief, while you’re left reacting.

• Drama Queens: they can’t exist without an audience.  They can be awkward, embarrassing, bullying, over-running the conversation to be ‘me, me, me’ focused and are pretty obnoxious. Part of the reason they become part of our lives is that initially they can be fun. Entertaining, even, if we feel a little bored.  Unfortunately, they never let up.  They’re insensitive to anyone’s needs, and tend to throw tantrums if they’re even mildly not paid attention to.

• The Hystericals: an off-shoot of drama queens.  Hystericals notch it up 2 decibels.  Ranting, raving, screaming, crying at the drop of a hat, inappropriate laughter that rings hours after a meeting.  It’s always the end of the world for these people.

There is good news, though- if you attract them, it means you’re generally happy and stable.  Getting rid of them is tough on guilt-trips but you have to stay strong.  Limit contact, if you can’t sever it completely.  They’ll keep trying to come back.  Don’t waver.  Just remember:  happiness is the left side of the brain and it’s logical.  Anger, resentment or depression are all right-siders, and they’re irrational.  Cleansing yourself of external negativity means you’re in the right frame of mind, even if your head’s a southpaw.