The Ladies:

A bunny boiler: A woman who gets crazed, obsessive and is scary. From Fatal Attraction, the famous scene of the pot on the stove, boiling-?

To glomp: Similar to a bunny boiler, but less drastic- a little desperate. Usage is:  Is she glomping you? I think she was glomping me.

Guyatus: When a girl or woman takes time off of dating anyone, usually after a bad experience. She’s ‘suffering from guyatus.’

Guys:

A paternity fest: The celebration that a guy has when he finds out he isn’t the father of someone’s child.

A management ring: The promise or engagement ring a man gives his girl, to stop her from complaining (without any plans of getting married).

A manicorn: The sensitive, soulful man-friend who in reality is an imaginary creature (man + unicorn).

General Slang:

A non: The worst description you could give someone- a non is so unimportant it’s a non-issue. They don’t exist or aren’t attractive.

An umfriend: The friend (or more) that you introduce awkwardly. “This is Bob.  He’s my…um…friend?”

To be butter: Someone with a nice body but the face is less than attractive.

Arm candy: A date you are only out with as ‘decoration’ for your arm, attractive but not much else.

The slow fade/to pull a Houdini: When you want to stop dating someone, and instead of telling them you just… gradually… poof! Disappear.

To cupcake: Spending quality time with your partner, typically at home, instead of going out.

A starter marriage: The first marriage, usually very short and sweet, that paves the way to the ‘real marriage.’

A shackpack: The bag you take with you that has a toothbrush, some clean clothes, etc.- because you hope to stay the night with a romance.

Book: Cool. Stemming from T-9 mistakes from trying to write cool, it’s now unbook to use cool.

To bookmark someone: To make a mental note to get back to a person for a more in-depth conversation/meeting/date.

Jawn: A person, place or thing. “That jawn was hot, did you see her?” Mainly Philly area.

Sexting: Two meanings:

a:) to send sexy texts to a partner in a flirtatious way and

b:) sending actual naked photos via phone.

This lingo is not a full list, by any means- and the year is still far from over. At least you’re geared up for the dating world with 2009 lingo. Very, very book.

It’s actually got a psychological term that’s been scientifically proven:  emotional contagion.  Think back through the years to all of those you’ve known that were needy, clingy, continuously vicious and enraged, the people that once you left them you felt absolutely drained.  You were in a good mood, and it can take less than minutes for a ‘negative’ personality to wipe that joy slate clean.  They might have even left you feeling downright surly.  Neuroscience says that deeply unhappy people infect others, because we are subconscious mirrors to those around us.  Spending a lot of time with certain people, we pick up their gestures, their phrases and eventually their behavior.  We’re unconscious mimics- or unconscious hosts.  Identify the types:

• Emotional Leeches: these are the people that are always in need, always come to you for advice, phone you up, and never solve their problems.  They feed off of your sympathy and kindness, coming back for more.  In extreme cases, they may even go the serial liar path just to have a constant influx of badness.  They can be friends, co-workers or family.  The only thing that matters:  they’re sucking the glee out of you, walking away feeling ‘so much better.’

• Psychic Vampires: a sub-let to leeches, they’re more specified and professional.  They have, dunno, special needs?  These are people who need to start arguments, or flirt outrageously, or those that kill everyone with kindness and then lap up the guilt.  They only feel satisfied if they get the ‘required’ response.  They walk away from the encounter with relief, while you’re left reacting.

• Drama Queens: they can’t exist without an audience.  They can be awkward, embarrassing, bullying, over-running the conversation to be ‘me, me, me’ focused and are pretty obnoxious. Part of the reason they become part of our lives is that initially they can be fun. Entertaining, even, if we feel a little bored.  Unfortunately, they never let up.  They’re insensitive to anyone’s needs, and tend to throw tantrums if they’re even mildly not paid attention to.

• The Hystericals: an off-shoot of drama queens.  Hystericals notch it up 2 decibels.  Ranting, raving, screaming, crying at the drop of a hat, inappropriate laughter that rings hours after a meeting.  It’s always the end of the world for these people.

There is good news, though- if you attract them, it means you’re generally happy and stable.  Getting rid of them is tough on guilt-trips but you have to stay strong.  Limit contact, if you can’t sever it completely.  They’ll keep trying to come back.  Don’t waver.  Just remember:  happiness is the left side of the brain and it’s logical.  Anger, resentment or depression are all right-siders, and they’re irrational.  Cleansing yourself of external negativity means you’re in the right frame of mind, even if your head’s a southpaw.

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This page is under construction! SORRY for the inconvenience caused.

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This page is under construction! SORRY for the inconvenience caused.

This page is under construction! SORRY for the inconvenience caused.

This page is under construction! SORRY for the inconvenience caused.

This page is under construction! SORRY for the inconvenience caused.