Let’s Talk About S-E-X

Ever found yourself wanting in bed, but just don’t know how to tell your partner without upsetting them? Here we give you a few tips you could use to have a better time in bed.

In a good relationship, talking about sex is unnecessary, right? Sex is what you do, when you are in love, and can understand each other all the way from the first to the last vibration in bed. Very true… if you’re talking about movies. But if you assume that sex can be ground shattering each time you do it, then you’re probably going to be disappointed quite often. Talking about sex is essential in a good relationship, because sex is a learnt behavior that involves many assumptions. Your partner may actually think he or she is pleasing you by doing something, and deep inside, you might just hate that move. By not telling them about it, you may think that you’re not hurting their feelings. But on the other hand, you’re actually building up a steam of frustration inside your head that can explode any moment.

Sweeping issues about sex under the rug can do unnecessary damage, and eventually one of you may pull away from sex, only to start hating it with your partner. Many of us may have the gift of gab, but clam up when it comes to sex. The reason why many of us don’t talk about sex is because it is directly linked with our self worth and image. If we don’t enjoy sex or some aspect of sex well enough, we assume that there’s something wrong with us for not liking it, which is not the right way to solve a problem. In some cases, you may have complaints about your lover, but that just makes it harder, because you wouldn’t wish to hurt their feelings by being rude to them.

If you ever find yourself wanting to talk, but don’t know how to start, here are a few conversation starters that are built around a few common sexual issues.

Situation: You don’t like your mate’s usual kissing style
Say “I love it when you kiss like that!”

Why It Works: Lip locking is considered to be the most intimate of romantic acts. Kissing turns your entire body on, and readies it for whatever’s coming next. When you tell your partner that you like a certain type of kiss, your male will only respond to the positive feedback and get a rush knowing that it makes you feel good, and will try harder to make you feel better.

Situation: Your mate wants to do things in bed that you’re not comfortable with
Say “I’m not really sure I’d like that, but let’s try it….”

Why It Works: The unfamiliar is always uncomfortable. So when your lover wants to try something new, and when you say this line, they’re already put in caution that you may not like it, which will help your mate ready themselves to the fact that you may not enjoy it. You could mention a condition that your mate should stop it if you say so, and if you don’t enjoy it. But at times, it’s best to say a ‘no’ straight out if you don’t think you’d enjoy it at all, for instance, a threesome. You could just say, “I love you, but no I cannot do that,” instead of “I’ll think about it,” which will only make your mate pester you more. Forcing yourself to do something you’re strongly against will only make you resent your mate.

Situation: You crave cuddling after sex
Say I love having sex with you. Give me a hug…

Why It Works: This may be suffered mostly by women, and the line can be used effectively. Men always want to please women when it comes to sex. So timing is very important. Instead of waiting until you turn red with rage, mention it as soon as he comes. He’ll still be in the mood to please you, so he wouldn’t mind staying in bed for a while. Or if he is a cleanliness freak who wants to wash up immediately, then tell him the same thing when he’s done cleaning up. It still works just as effectively.