Celibacy, Abstinence And Renewed Virginity: Why They’re Trendy

It seems dating is becoming much harder for men these days. If it weren’t bad enough to deal with all of the other complexities and hoops you’re required to leap through, you also have the added bonus of not getting any sugar after you’ve put in the time. As in: no sex, even when you’re dating someone exclusively. Many smart, sexy and successful women are choosing a life of phallic crime: celibacy, abstinence, or born-again virginity. You might have heard about it, or maybe you’ve even dated one. But for many men it’s just another irritating bridge they can’t cross, and many are choosing not to date re-virginized women.

The Terms:

Some terminology first: Celibates choose to live a life without sex. Usually ever. Abstinents are waiting for The Man They Will Marry, and refuse to date vicariously. Born-again virgins, the most popular of the movement, differ from abstinents in the way that they want a very serious relationship but on their terms only.

Why Revirginize?

The arguments for re-virginizing are compelling and slightly convincing. The women doing this aren’t using it as an excuse of why they’re single. They’re not frumpy un-datables. These are attractive women with healthy incomes that want to get rid of the distraction of sex, to focus on other things. Work. Emotional focus (especially after a bad relationship). Simply tired of the dating scene and the meaningless sex that’s involved. STDs have also had a hand in helping women just say no. The descriptions of women who don’t- ‘tease,’ ‘prude,’ ‘frigid,’ are no longer applicable today. Obviously, it doesn’t apply to the majority of women- but the numbers are steadily increasing.

Dating in the Future:

What does this mean for men? For the serial daters and womanizers out there, a smaller playing field. Or a less palatable one. By making this choice, it could very well be that men will soon be desperately seeking any Susan to date. Are men are partially to blame? The stigma of being a tramp if you put out has been dampened, but not fully. Ironically, the main group of women that are vehemently against the born-again virgins are the feminists. They believe women should celebrate their sexuality as an empowerment tool. As for the argument it’s natural, celibates reply it’s not- and it’s unnecessary. That raging hormones don’t make the man, choices do. It could also modify the dating arena in the way that dating itself is seen as a serious commitment.

I find it a little charming that women are going back to the days of holding out for a ring, or admirable that it’s a complete focus of women on themselves, rather than ranting about the latest man-tragedy. It’s refreshing. It’s also something I don’t plan on doing anytime soon. I wouldn’t want to re-write my past, present or future- intellectually, emotionally or sexually. But then again, looking at renewed virginity, there’s twice in a lifetime to change my mind.