The SEX Rule – How Long Should You Wait Before Having Sex When You’re Dating?

November 22, 2007 | By admin In Dating & Flirting,Sex & Intimacy |

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11 Comments so far

Jerry on November 23rd, 2007

i think you should at least wait until you know if this person also likes you. its no fun when you find out the feelings aren’t mutual and that the sex meant more to you than to him/her.
Katherine Lia on August 10th, 2008

It is so important to really get in touch with your own needs first then to clearly communicate that to the person you are interested in. Maybe it is a fling you seek? Can you really handle the consequences with someone you hardly know? If it is a long term relationship and you are a woman it is best to be selective and wait to share your precious intimacy with someone special. Men think differently than women instinctively. Every situation is unique. Tune in intuitively and you will know if this is the person and when it is the right time. Speak your own truth and align with that always.
Robilyn on January 26th, 2009

why can’t a woman just want sex and no relationship be labled as fast can’t we have sex on the first night and forget about the guy afterwards? we have needs to and it might not include a relationship.
jane on August 20th, 2009

Geez, just touch me already!
marilyn on November 6th, 2009

i would like to comment on yours robilyn as i felt the same myself but unfortunately as women we are wired differently than men, often we bond when the sexual act takes place and are in tune with the intimacy and soul connection the act brings, i think men can view it as a physical act and not have emotional involvement that is why there are more women prostitutes then there are men. a man most often does not fall in love with a woman because he is having sex with her, he might be really digging the sex but its not love and he knows it, a woman however might be digging the man and thinks the sex and all the work women put into it will make him fall in love with her. we as women must find and solidify our own personal love, sensuality and power within ourselves to not need to control men or even need them, to choose wisely and become highly skilled as women whether in the bedroom, the art studio or the dance floor. then the men will come running and we can put the sex on hold and get to know which man is exactly the right fit.
Travis on January 18th, 2010

I have dated my gf for over 3 months..i am 30 she is 23 wehave gone out over 40 times and talk everyday…but let alone sex I can’t even get past first base…most I can hope for is a 3 second kiss at end of the date and some hand holding…I am so frustrated
Please on March 1st, 2010

We know better!!! You wait until marriage, why buy the cow if you get the milk for free….think about it. Nothing new under the sun, why should premarital sex be any different. Period.
Lee on March 29th, 2010

Just wait till it feels right, if you dont think the person is that interested in you then making a move will most likely end in disappointment, nobody likes being rejected and can knock your confidence if you get it wrong time and time again.

On the other hand you have to let your partner know how interested you are in them, ive come across many girls that are really into the guy but never convey their feelings (Leave it to “guess work” for some reason) so they lose out. As us guys are either “on or off” we need to know you like us or we get the impression you dont and we move on, simple as that. I know its old fashioned that men have to do the chasing blah blah, but we cant read minds.
amina on March 31st, 2010

It’s soooo hard for women to really know what to do! Personally I have just as much desire to be touched as any guy I date but I feel the need to hide that desire so that I don’t seem easy (the first several months) or clingy (when a real relationship starts). I just wish that I could find someone that could accept love without judgement.
kait on April 4th, 2010

amina, i totally agree with you. I have recently started dating a guy and we have gone on four dates all together. We talk about intimacy and what not but haven’t gone farther than kissing. Which is what I want. I just don’t know when is the right time. If we do have sex, I want us to be in a relationship. I have the urge now to have sex with him and its killing me that I have to wait and play hard to get. I dont want to. I just want to go for it, but I know I will drive him away. I want to spend more time with him but that would be considered clingy if I asked. I can’t handle this
slion on April 5th, 2010

I met someone recently, and we talked for a few weeks first. I got to know who he was and how he was connected in my community, and professionally. I went on a first date with him yesterday and the chemistry was on fire, physically and intellectually. We ended up walking, talking (and kissing and hugging) for five hours. I am seeing him next weekend for a more formal dinner date, and I think it is going to be hard not to move too fast based on the attraction. Not sure what to do. We are not kids, we’re in our 40′s…we like each other and we are both a little starry eyed right now, but both of us are dating in hopes of a long term relationship with each other and we don’t want to mess that up. Any advice?